DROWN

Well Hello everybody! I'm in the highest of spirits today because it's been a -

 VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I'm the proud new owner of a crock pot, record player, and many other small morsels of goodness. It's been a good year. I also have a third date on Friday with a rather nice guy (details to come later) and I'm going home to Chucktown tomorrow, which means I can cook up some lasagna in my fancy new crock pot.

This past weekend my darling friend Josh came into town for the night. He has been wanting to go skydiving in a city an hour away and he thought it would be the perfect time to come visit me as well! He blew into town and blew right back out - but not before we had an awesome time. He came and met me at W.W. and of course all the ladies just HAD to know who he was - and since I get embarrassed so quickly when guys are involved, I blushed and said we were just friends with a big grin on my face (because let's be serious here for a second - Josh is gorgeous and is one of the nicest guys I've ever had the privilege of knowing so in my mind he's an absolute catch for any girl.) We went to my apartment to get ready, did a bit of pre-gaming, caught a cab, and were off for a fun night. Long story short we went to all our favorite places, including back to Midtown for another great cover band that played tons of Blink 182 and The Killers. Josh and I danced the whole time and I laughed like I haven't in ages.

 {Kayla and I laughing like little school girls}

 {The always lovely Josh and I at Midtown}

I woke up Sunday morning to start doing laundry and packing for my trip back home to Augusta and let everyone sleep in until eleven. Josh woke up and get dressed and I drove us over to Sweetwater Cafe for some brunch. We had the greatest time with our waitress and I couldn't help but smile when he bought my meal AND gave her a big tip. We walked through the market on the way there and walked through the surrounding shops on the way back, including the Black Mineral Market (an all-time fave) and got some fudge. Sadly he had to go home soon after, and so we said our goodbyes and I ran back inside to finish packing.
To say I ran out of town is an understatement. I all but galloped. I took the back way home and drove through country and small towns that I'd never heard of before. Just me, the radio, and the wind in my hair. I made it home just before my parents got home from Atlanta and it was a nice surprise for them to see me earlier than planned. I spent the past few days recuperating from my crazy retail filled month and a half by reading, watching movies, and playing video games with my brother.

{Family Photo in front of the tree}

 {After seeing the movie I HAD to reread the first and then read the second - TEAM PEETA!}

But as with all good things, it must come to an end tomorrow. Now if only I could have a vacation after my vacation to recover.
I hope you all had an amazing Christmas!

WE MIGHT BE CRAZY

{Perfect Saturday Night outfit - Boots, thrifted. Dress, Target. Tights, Forever 21. Men's Button Up, thrifted.}

This weekend was absolutely wonderful! It's been a long long time since I've let Kayla convince me to go out and run the town until 2 A.M. but I caved and let it happen.

It all started on Saturday when Kayla's ex-boyfriend Matt came into town. We decided to take him out and show him all our favorite places to hang on crazy downtown nights. Naturally we started at Closed For Business - it's our current favorite place to go and it's SUCH a chill place with an always changing menu, which encourages me to continue my mission to find a beer that agrees with me. For now I'm settling with pear and apple ales by Doc's Draft.

{C.F.B. on a random October night}  

Next we tried to go to a really great spot called Prohibition that has a bar at the front, a dance floor in the middle, and a outdoor patio bar and tables out back, but they're suddenly all about charging covers and I'm definitely not all about that so we kept walking down King. Kayla mentioned this place called Midtown that was pretty nice so we ducked in there only to be greeted with a live band and phenomenal 90's music screaming out of the amps. We jammed, we drank, we danced, we sang until we were hoarse... it was epic.

{The Swift Robinson's - reuniting since their high school glory days}

{Pre jam-session at Midtown with Kayla}

Getting tired and thirsty I suggested we head over to A.C.'s - our original Chucktown stomping grounds. This is the bar that I have curated so many amazing friends and fond memories, including the New Zealanders (Whom of which have sailed back to the Bahamas until January and I miss them so very dearly.) This is also the bar where I saw Cam Gigandet so many times the fact that he was famous was more annoying than exciting, but he was also a total jerk so it didn't really make me weak in the knees to see him. After one final drink we headed home. While Kayla and Matt went upstairs I hung out with Neighbor Nick and played with his sweet hood-cat JoJo.

{she is literally the tiniest and sweetest thing on this block}

Then Sunday night came! It was my day job's, we will call it W.W., annual Christmas party and it was a hoot. Long story short, Liam Hemsworth posters were cuddled, Where's Waldo hats were searched, phone numbers were given to bartenders, vows were made, book clubs were started, and lots and lots of chicken wings were consumed. I'm so blessed by my little family of co-workers I have here. They're more my family than anything, especially since I spend forty hours with them a week and see them more than my own roommate.

{from L to R: Stephanie, Me, Courtney, Sarah Jean, Hillary, and Ashley in front}

{I love these girls - they're the absolute best}

After a long long long day I'm finally at my three-days off break before I head back for three more days of working and then I'll be done for the Christmas season. It'll be back home to sweet ol' Augusta, Georgia and I can't wait!

SWEET & LOW

Today as I rolled out of bed I decided a few things about me, my life, and what I want/need to get accomplished.
Here are those things:

1. I need to focus a whole hell of a lot more on myself and a whole hell of a lot less on guys. I really think women in general need to do this. We walk around talking about all the things guys do wrong or the kind of guy we want walking into our lives, but have we really stopped to examine the kind of girl we are? I have done so much growing up in the past few months that I'm an altogether different version of myself than I was last year, but I am more than aware that I still have plenty of growing up to do. I want the next big step towards a relationship I take to be with someone that is the best possible version of himself beside the best possible version of myself. Why do we hold such high expectations against others when we don't even hold those same expectations to ourselves? 
2. Sooner or later everyone's true colors are shown, no matter how nice of a guy he may seem to be. Never stay over at a guy's house. Just don't. That's not me telling you what to do; that's me telling myself what to do. Never put yourself in that position again. You're way too nice of a girl Taylor to leave his house, even at 4 a.m. when he's prattling on about his views on hooking up and sex, because you constantly worry about hurting peoples' feelings even when they're unworthy of you caring. You are worthy of more than that - you deserve someone that respects you and won't test his boundaries. Someone that won't even think about inviting you to stay over, especially when you're not even a couple and you still don't know each other. Plus, having to listen to someone snore in your ear pisses you off beyond belief and you wake up crankier than usual.
3. That boy that begged you to stay, you're eternal "what-if", never leaves your mind for a single day until you do something about it. If that means blocking him from all your social media, deleting his number out of your phone, then DO it. Stop crying about him on your way home after long days that are emotionally taxing. He's not even worth it. Damn-it get it together!
4. I want to start making goals for me that have substance and result in growth. My first of many goals is to start learning more dishes to cook. Something I've always wanted to do is host dinner parties when I got my own place, and I'm deciding it's high-time to learn more than just fried chicken and pasta roni. I also want to start making our living space more cozy and home-like. I'm determined to make our place look like it walked out of Anthropologie's catalog. This is only the beginning, but I know I'm going to have a lot of exciting little adventures planned ahead for me and I can't wait.
5. Sometimes you just have to put your big-girl panties on and make it alone. My family and I are currently at wit's ends with one another - they want me to come back home and I want them to stop asking me to. I haven't talked to my Mom in weeks and that's really hard, especially with how close we are, and today when I called to wish my brother a happy birthday and she made up an excuse to not talk to me on the phone really hurt. But I'm beginning to realize that this is a test I have to pass and I'm trying to stay focused on all the positive and realize that, like I always say, every little thing is gonna be alright.

THE OTHER SIDE

(Taken aboard my friend's yacht - yes yacht. My life is pretty surreal sometimes.)

Let's just say I'm finally at the happiest and most fulfilling place I've ever been in my life.
I wake up every morning with a smile on my face and a song in my heart that I have never felt. My job is so amazing and so are my co-workers, my roommate and I get closer everyday, I'm making tons of friends, and I even have a sweet boy in my life that genuinely cares about me.
I just got a promotion at work - starting in January I'll be traveling to all the stores and training people in personalization and creating designs for the company as a whole. I'm so unbelievably excited that I have earned this opportunity from all my hard work, but also that the owner of all the stores was the one that delivered me this news. It's such an honor for her to tell me that although I think what I do is small and trivial, that is actually a big part of the growth of her business and I'm appreciated more than I'll ever know and that I'm an intricate part of her new business plan. This also ensures that I'll still be full-time after the holidays and that in itself makes me happier than I can even express.
Last week was Kayla's, my roommate, birthday and I was able to surprise her with our friend Arnold sneaking into town to see her, cake, a hilarious card, an adorable friendship bracelet from Urban Outfitters, and a birthday party none of us could forget. We had so many people at Closed For Business that we had to get three tables together just to sit comfortably. It was an absolute blast and I can only hope my birthday is that exciting!
My co-workers are quickly becoming some of my favorite people and dearest friends and I'm so thankful for it. They're what make my job even better than it already is and they've helped me on many levels, including emotionally and spiritually. I'm a blessed blessed girl for getting to have them in my life and I can't thank them enough.
As far as the boy - he's great. We met through mutual friends and all I thought of him at first was that he was a nice guy that dressed like the boys I liked in High School did; a scene kid/punk music lover. He drove all the way from Goose Creek, which is thirty minutes away, to hang out with me on Halloween night and after the bars started to close we walked back to Brittany's and stayed up all night talking and laughing on the couch until we finally fell asleep at 5 a.m. He escorted me back to my car and begged for me to let him take us to breakfast but I had to work and roll Kayla back home. We finally hung back out a few days later and watched "V for Vendetta", ate pizza, and watched the FSU game. Our last hang we watched "Captain America" and talked about our families and beliefs and cuddled up and had a great time. Tonight we are going on our first official "date". He's taking me out to dinner at Carrabba's and we are going to see a movie and I seriously cannot wait! He's a lot different than most guys I've been into lately in my life - he's a skinny rail and he loves punk music and going to shows. He's an artist and loves talking about classical art like I do. He is only twenty-two, but his birthday is later this month. He tells me I'm pretty and he reaches for my hand and kisses me on the head in a way that doesn't make me feel like a child. He tells me I'm smart and sweet and he is appreciative for the little things I do for him, like driving all the way to Summerville yesterday to pick him up and take him to buy a new tire when his blew out (and he even put gas in my tank for me, as well as pumped it after the fact). I'm being excruciatingly cautious and taking it slow because after my own hell I've been through and the hell that Kayla has been through with getting herself invested too quickly with guys here is more than enough to make me scared to care too much. He likes me, he told me, but I still wonder how much a guy likes me and how much he likes the idea of sleeping with me. It's a struggle, but I'm working through it.
All in all - Taylor is doing so damn well she can't believe it most days. Cheers to that!!

HURRICANES & DRIZZLES

Well, this post is going to be incredibly long so bear with me.
Let me get you up to speed with my life as of late.
Right after I wrote my last blog post, I sailed off to Augusta to visit my family. I spent all of that night crying and woke up Monday thinking I would feel a bit better. I was completely burnt out from working both of my jobs for four days in a row, that last day being a fifteen hour day, and I was in a fight with my roommate about a boy; so of course nothing seemed right with the world. As I rolled over that morning I immediately began to cry again and knew I needed to escape. I threw some shirts and hoodie into an overnight bag, grabbed my leg pump and Bernard my teddy bear, left the roommate a note, and blew out of town like a stiff wind. I didn't tell anyone I was coming, I just drove and drove and cried and listened to old mixed c.d.s. As soon as I got into Augusta all I could think about was getting to my house and seeing my Momma. I walked in to surprise her and we both immediately started crying. I stayed for a couple of days, a visit I needed more than anything. Outside of my family I only saw one of my closest friends and I'm thankful for that time we had together. Going back home completely renewed me and reminded me what I moved away for in the first place: to find myself away from everyone I knew and to prove that I could survive on my own will and strength. I left Augusta sad that I wasn't going to see my family for a long while, but thankful to be getting away from the town that has never quite felt like home.
As I pulled onto my street I was met with a sense of happiness and joy that hasn't really left me since that day. I wake up happy and encouraged to be here. True, my parents have helped me along the way, but paying for all of my bills last month gave me a feeling of satisfaction that I want to feel every month. I'd rather be eating sunflower seeds than ever ask my parents for money again. I actually find myself texting my manager to ask her if she needs people and that I would love to come in because I genuinely love my job and the people I have let into my life that work there.
As far as all the partying and bar hopping, I'm pretty much over it. I'd rather have an early or late dinner and drinks at a restaurant, or meet up with a few friends late at night for drinks at a quiet bar. I do still have the urge to go dancing or to go to the crowded hangs on Thursdays, but my body reminds me on Friday mornings when I have a nine hour work day ahead of me that I'm an idiot. Plus, I'm not this person that drinks this much, and I need to remember that it's good to have a great time, but sometimes too much is too much and it needs to be dropped down a whole heck of a lot.
The guys of this city are more so boys than men. I've gone out with a couple and let's just say neither were grade A by a long shot. Firstly, I don't have time for games and bullshit. If I like someone, I like them and I wish that guys had that same mindset. Even though both guys were twenty-six and twenty-seven they still acted like they were twenty-one. I'm good for more than a quick bite to eat and a night of him trying to make moves on me while I'm equally trying to watch the movie we spent twenty minutes picking out on Netflix. (Disclaimer: Making Out is beyond fun, yes, but at least let me watch the movie and then get me to kiss you, jeeze.) It's obvious that I haven't met the right one yet and I'm not surprised. I honestly would love to have a boyfriend, but I'm not the kind of girl to go out in search for one. He just needs to happen upon me while I'm sitting in Starbucks drinking a salted-caramel hot chocolate and reading "The Fault In Our Stars" and we will instantly bond over our love for horror movies and used book stores. It's gonna be great y'all!
Long of the short is that I'm beyond happy here. Sure there are rough days that I want to tell myself I'm an idiot for moving here, but all in all, it's been an amazing experience that I wouldn't trade for anything. There is always something happening here and the hustle and bustle is more than inspiring. I meet new and interesting people on a daily, yes daily, basis. One of the guys I went out with was from Australia for crying out loud! I actually enjoy walking around the city, no matter how many blocks, and I love knowing street names and the quick route to places in this short amount of time I've been here. It's also nice knowing who actually misses you; who takes the time to reach out to you and call or text you... I've realized who my friends are and for that alone I'm thankful. I'm finally finding myself, as cliché as that sounds. Now I'm just trying to find my own voice and group of friends; I'm tired of being a group package / not having my own people outside from my other group. It's a process, but I'm forcing myself to open up to people and form relationships and that's making me a stronger person.
Chucktown is my heart and soul - y'all just don't even know.

MAKE ROOM

I have officially broken my heart into a hundred little pieces.
One piece rests on my empty room's window pane at my parents' house. Another lays in his front seat where he kissed me and told me he wanted me to stay. Another is stuffed in between the couch cushions belonging to that boy whose arms I shouldn't have been in. One is hanging from my rear-view, where I've watched so many things slowly get smaller, and one is nestled tightly in the box of my favorite pictures.
I miss everyone and everything about Augusta so much right now it's tearing a hole in my very soul. Charleston is an amazing city with so much to offer me and so many opportunities to grab and run with. I love my toy store job, surprise surprise, and I'm actually wanted and excelling there. The bar/party scene is what it is... the bar/party scene. It was better than Augusta's for a long time, but now I miss the familiarity of running into old friends at Country Club or Soul. I miss the way the streets smelled after it rained, and the wind in my hair while I cruised the familiar streets. I miss my friends and doing the same things with them every weekend. I miss having the option to go home and not do a damn thing and not having to feel like I owe anyone my company when I'm exhausted from working a thirteen hour day. I miss not crying all. the. time.
I'm ready to visit my family. It's beyond high-time.

LOW COUNTRY

Chucktown is my life, my love, my everything.
I'll be posting much much more in the future - that's a promise.

SWEET SUMMERTIME

source

It's been quite a while... and by "quite a while" I mean a REALLY LONG TIME. So so much has happened in the past month and a half that it's astonishing.

First things first, I'm MOVING MOTHA EFFAAS. Alright let's dial it back a little bit. I'm moving in August to the amazing city of Charleston, South Carolina with two fabulous people and the fact that this is all happening is a dream and a half come true. I have one job set up, but I'm looking for another as well because Lord knows you can't pay the bills with a part-time job. It's going to be a struggle, but I'm looking forward to it, as crazy as that sounds. Plus, my roommates are super out-going and adventurous and I'm ready to embrace that part of my personality with full clenching fists. I'm ready to shake up my life and I can't wait to get there.

I turned twenty-three on the nineteenth of June. It's still hard to get used to saying I'm that age. I certainly don't feel it... other than the fact that it is always harder getting up in the morning, but that's probably in part to my 3 a.m. bedtime I've been pulling lately. We started off with dinner and drinks (too many shots and frozen daiquiris and long island sweet teas) and ended with bowling. It was such a great night and I had fifteen of my friends show up, some with their boyfriends/husbands in tow. I laughed hard, had a toast in my honor, and held hands with one of my close guy friends in the same minutes I realized one of my other guy friends has a crush on me. It was a night and a half to say the least. It's going to be so hard leaving all of those amazing people, but I know that if I need them or they need me we'll always be there for each other. Plus it's always good to be reminded that you're loved and people know you, scars and all, and still hang around.

Speaking of people hanging around, I'm no longer friends with Spencer. Too many dramatics and shenanigans. Plus, he got a girlfriend and I didn't feel comfortable talking to him as much as we did and he didn't understand that... so, BYE. I miss talking to him, but it was for the best so it had to be done and sometimes that's what you have to remind yourself of when the going gets tough.

I ditched school for a day and went to the beach with my family and had such a BALL. I was so close to skipping vacation this year just because I had been in this "anti-family" funk and was being a bratty bitch to everyone that was related to me, but at the last minute I decided to go along. My tan is still here and I'm still sad I didn't get any fudge, but as usual I'm reminded how blessed I am to have such warm and loving parents that provide above and beyond for me - including tons of things I brought back from the beach that most people wouldn't dream of getting.

All in all, this has been an absolute gem of a Summer. I've let a lot of people go and rewelcomed a lot of others back in and I'm so thankful for that. I can't wait to see what else awaits me.

Until then.

-Tay