REMAIN.

Welcome back to the blogging world, Taylor.

I apologize for my extended absence - one that included a lot of soul-searching, regrouping, book reading, coffee, leaning on friends, and self-re-evaluation.

I feel like every week of my life for the last few months has had some grand hurdle to overcome, which I did, either gracefully or by the grace of God.

Y'all, God is so good. He plucked me from darkness and set me in motion to live a life that is so much more than I could have ever imagined for myself. The skills, talents, flaws, fervor, personality, love, zeal, convictions, joys, all of that and more, are in my very being because of Him. Even when I am in my weakest and most grief-ridden moments, I can always remember this. I can always lean on this.

I was sitting at Earth Fare last week waiting on my friends to come meet me for lunch, when I was catching up on some devotions. I read this quote by Margaret Feinberg that said, "Remain suspicious that God is up to something good." It kind of blew my mind a little bit. Okay a lot a bit and it's been on my mind since.

I've spent a great deal of time praying lately, which is really different for me because that's always been a struggle of mine. Instead of just telling God all of thing things I want on my list, I started thanking Him for what He'll be doing and what He has happening in the future. Whether it's me not getting the job I interviewed for this week, or my future husband, whoever he may be, I thank God for the plan He has for me, and then pray for the peace to accept what He chooses. It's a plan I couldn't even begin to make happen without His provision.

Now, let me get off my Jesus cloud for 1.2 seconds and tell you that there are moments that I forget this. I always want to jump about 6 steps ahead and make things happen before they should. That's why I had to start telling myself to "calm the $^$& down and get it together". I'm completely impatient and scared about the unknown. I'm not a planner by any means, but I like to have control in the spontaneous moments of life. This isn't always possible. It's pretty much never possible.

・Philippians 4:6・

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

This is the verse I have on an old ring that resurfaced when I was going through some things. Funny, huh? I'd had such a sense of uncertainty for months, and then, as if miraculously, this ring appears in the corner of an old Toms bag in my trunk. I've worn it every day since.

On top of all this, I want to have a shout-out to the best friends a girl can have. I told them last night between getting the biggest hugs and being told that they loved me, that this was the first time in my life that I haven't felt like I've had to compete with any of my friends. They're encouraging, uplifting, spiritual, hysterical, fun, and also tough-loving. I'm not sure if it's a maturity in me, or just finally picking good people to do life with, but my little family of friends is so great right now. Nothing is better than being able to talk about Jesus and then be so real probably too real about the REAL things of life. {I love all of you and the person you help me become every day. We also need some more shots together… it's more than evident in this moment.}

I promise to have a life-update post soon, complete with adventures in flower shops, coffee dates with a boy, plans for the Spring, and so much more.