SWEET & LOW

Today as I rolled out of bed I decided a few things about me, my life, and what I want/need to get accomplished.
Here are those things:

1. I need to focus a whole hell of a lot more on myself and a whole hell of a lot less on guys. I really think women in general need to do this. We walk around talking about all the things guys do wrong or the kind of guy we want walking into our lives, but have we really stopped to examine the kind of girl we are? I have done so much growing up in the past few months that I'm an altogether different version of myself than I was last year, but I am more than aware that I still have plenty of growing up to do. I want the next big step towards a relationship I take to be with someone that is the best possible version of himself beside the best possible version of myself. Why do we hold such high expectations against others when we don't even hold those same expectations to ourselves? 
2. Sooner or later everyone's true colors are shown, no matter how nice of a guy he may seem to be. Never stay over at a guy's house. Just don't. That's not me telling you what to do; that's me telling myself what to do. Never put yourself in that position again. You're way too nice of a girl Taylor to leave his house, even at 4 a.m. when he's prattling on about his views on hooking up and sex, because you constantly worry about hurting peoples' feelings even when they're unworthy of you caring. You are worthy of more than that - you deserve someone that respects you and won't test his boundaries. Someone that won't even think about inviting you to stay over, especially when you're not even a couple and you still don't know each other. Plus, having to listen to someone snore in your ear pisses you off beyond belief and you wake up crankier than usual.
3. That boy that begged you to stay, you're eternal "what-if", never leaves your mind for a single day until you do something about it. If that means blocking him from all your social media, deleting his number out of your phone, then DO it. Stop crying about him on your way home after long days that are emotionally taxing. He's not even worth it. Damn-it get it together!
4. I want to start making goals for me that have substance and result in growth. My first of many goals is to start learning more dishes to cook. Something I've always wanted to do is host dinner parties when I got my own place, and I'm deciding it's high-time to learn more than just fried chicken and pasta roni. I also want to start making our living space more cozy and home-like. I'm determined to make our place look like it walked out of Anthropologie's catalog. This is only the beginning, but I know I'm going to have a lot of exciting little adventures planned ahead for me and I can't wait.
5. Sometimes you just have to put your big-girl panties on and make it alone. My family and I are currently at wit's ends with one another - they want me to come back home and I want them to stop asking me to. I haven't talked to my Mom in weeks and that's really hard, especially with how close we are, and today when I called to wish my brother a happy birthday and she made up an excuse to not talk to me on the phone really hurt. But I'm beginning to realize that this is a test I have to pass and I'm trying to stay focused on all the positive and realize that, like I always say, every little thing is gonna be alright.

THE OTHER SIDE

(Taken aboard my friend's yacht - yes yacht. My life is pretty surreal sometimes.)

Let's just say I'm finally at the happiest and most fulfilling place I've ever been in my life.
I wake up every morning with a smile on my face and a song in my heart that I have never felt. My job is so amazing and so are my co-workers, my roommate and I get closer everyday, I'm making tons of friends, and I even have a sweet boy in my life that genuinely cares about me.
I just got a promotion at work - starting in January I'll be traveling to all the stores and training people in personalization and creating designs for the company as a whole. I'm so unbelievably excited that I have earned this opportunity from all my hard work, but also that the owner of all the stores was the one that delivered me this news. It's such an honor for her to tell me that although I think what I do is small and trivial, that is actually a big part of the growth of her business and I'm appreciated more than I'll ever know and that I'm an intricate part of her new business plan. This also ensures that I'll still be full-time after the holidays and that in itself makes me happier than I can even express.
Last week was Kayla's, my roommate, birthday and I was able to surprise her with our friend Arnold sneaking into town to see her, cake, a hilarious card, an adorable friendship bracelet from Urban Outfitters, and a birthday party none of us could forget. We had so many people at Closed For Business that we had to get three tables together just to sit comfortably. It was an absolute blast and I can only hope my birthday is that exciting!
My co-workers are quickly becoming some of my favorite people and dearest friends and I'm so thankful for it. They're what make my job even better than it already is and they've helped me on many levels, including emotionally and spiritually. I'm a blessed blessed girl for getting to have them in my life and I can't thank them enough.
As far as the boy - he's great. We met through mutual friends and all I thought of him at first was that he was a nice guy that dressed like the boys I liked in High School did; a scene kid/punk music lover. He drove all the way from Goose Creek, which is thirty minutes away, to hang out with me on Halloween night and after the bars started to close we walked back to Brittany's and stayed up all night talking and laughing on the couch until we finally fell asleep at 5 a.m. He escorted me back to my car and begged for me to let him take us to breakfast but I had to work and roll Kayla back home. We finally hung back out a few days later and watched "V for Vendetta", ate pizza, and watched the FSU game. Our last hang we watched "Captain America" and talked about our families and beliefs and cuddled up and had a great time. Tonight we are going on our first official "date". He's taking me out to dinner at Carrabba's and we are going to see a movie and I seriously cannot wait! He's a lot different than most guys I've been into lately in my life - he's a skinny rail and he loves punk music and going to shows. He's an artist and loves talking about classical art like I do. He is only twenty-two, but his birthday is later this month. He tells me I'm pretty and he reaches for my hand and kisses me on the head in a way that doesn't make me feel like a child. He tells me I'm smart and sweet and he is appreciative for the little things I do for him, like driving all the way to Summerville yesterday to pick him up and take him to buy a new tire when his blew out (and he even put gas in my tank for me, as well as pumped it after the fact). I'm being excruciatingly cautious and taking it slow because after my own hell I've been through and the hell that Kayla has been through with getting herself invested too quickly with guys here is more than enough to make me scared to care too much. He likes me, he told me, but I still wonder how much a guy likes me and how much he likes the idea of sleeping with me. It's a struggle, but I'm working through it.
All in all - Taylor is doing so damn well she can't believe it most days. Cheers to that!!